beautiful mess.

Hi all.madewithover

I wanted to pop in today just to share something that has been burning in my heart. I can’t promise {in fact I won’t even try to promise} to start blogging more. {I won’t bore you with all the crazy stuff happening in my life right now…but it is so exciting.}

With that in mind, can I just share what Jesus has been teaching me?

Grace. All Grace. Only Grace.

Not fluffy grace.  Not grace that I’m simply thankful for on thanksgiving.  Not grace that makes me feel good and light and like I’m walking on rainbows.

But grace that moves.  Grace that transforms.  Grace that comes in to your very core and begins to renovate your entire being.

And this moving, transforming, renovating grace hurts.  It’s painful. It’s messy.  It’s tearing down my insides; ripping out the lies that Satan has planted in me, uprooting the wrong beliefs that I have clung to for years and dissecting the core of my heart, exposing the ugliest parts of me to the light of life.

I often feel like a mess.  Like I’m walking around in a full body cast, feeling like a breathing construction site with nothing but disarray and wreckage going on inside of me.  But I know that I am a beautiful mess.  I’m a grace inspired mess. And I love it. 

Because there was a time when I believed that the lies inside of me were true.  I accepted that my wrong beliefs were reality.  I passively walked day in and day out, letting lies consume me and letting my broken perspective control how I lived and ultimately how I loved.  I lived for years walking with Jesus, but keeping him at arms length; not letting his grace touch the most vulnerable and fearful places of my heart.  I wandered in blindness, knowing that Christ lived in me, but not letting his power open my eyes to his power and wholeness.

And there came a call to action.  Last year was mine. It was a defining moment when Jesus demanded more of me. It was a moment when I realized that I had never given him all of my heart; all of my obedience; all of my surrender.  Everyday now I experience that same call to action.  I hear the voice of Jesus, asking me to surrender more tiny little pieces of my heart.  To grant him permission to tear apart my insides and then give him the shattered bits.  And Jesus takes those shattered pieces and gently, creatively, uniquely creates this breathtaking mosaic of pure beauty.  

You see grace, as I’m experiencing, isn’t easy and weak.  Grace is the mighty power of God that captures our very being and swoops down as a mighty breath of renewal and wholeness.  Grace breathes life into us; offering us healing and transformation.   Grace is the story of allowing Jesus into our hearts and letting him  renovate the inner parts of us.  

Wholeness is built in in the construction zone of my heart.  As I allow Jesus deeper and deeper into my most vulnerable places, he will gently rip away the things that are not love, are not him, are not truth. And grace rushes into those newly emptied vessels; filling me with new life, new love, a new place that is now consumed by Jesus.

Grace is replacing my mess with Jesus’ love.  Grace is the painful process of ridding my heart of its muck; and filling in those spaces with pure. powerful. and passionate Jesus love. 

So what is Jesus teaching me? That his grace lets me be a beautiful mess. That it’s totally acceptable to be under construction; to be broken; to be in shattered bits. Because in the end he will take those broken pieces and create a remarkable picture of his glory, goodness and grace.  

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2 thoughts on “beautiful mess.

  1. Pingback: Fresh Start - Considering Grace...there is no shame in starting fresh.

  2. Pingback: this embrace. | Laura Wachowiak

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