the next ten.

In light of my birthday post on Wednesday, I began to think not only about my blessings from the past year, but the complete difference in my life from this birthday and last birthday.  From the early fall to late spring last year I worked as an Administrative Assistant at a software company. {what an interesting experience…this outgoing social butterfly with a bunch of computer analysts…you can imagine that interaction! especially after working with middle schoolers!}

For the short time that I worked in the “business world” I kept feeling like I didn’t belong, as if I was on the wrong path for my life.  I knew that God would use me where ever I was, whether I was in “ministry” or a “secular position”, but the lingering sense that I was not where I was supposed to be dwelled in me for months.  I remember sitting at my desk last winter, bored out of my gourd…thinking about my life and my future.  I kept imagining how my life would play out if I just accepted life the way it was; if I just accepted mediocrity and if I let the corporate world sweep me up. {I don’t fare well at all with mediocrity..in fact..I think it may be a pet peeve of mine}

The thought of docile submission to that mediocre life made me cringe.  In that uncomfortable moment, I thought about what my life would look like in a year. {would I still be working a job that sucked the life out of me?  would I have made it up another step on the corporate ladder? and if i did… would it even matter to me?} As I thought about that year an even scarier thought came to me, what would life look like in 10 years on this path? {would I have pursued the dreams that I felt stirring inside of me?  or would I have wasted 10 years simply coasting through life simply living to get through another work week?}

After the initial paralyzing fear wore off, those same questions lit a fire within me. I decided that my life would not be mediocre.  The next ten years would be used to their fullest potential {I would let God use me to my fullest potential} and I would faithfully pursue my God given passions and desires.  In ten years, I want to be able to look back and say that I lived for my purpose and potential and I didn’t let life coast on by.

To start that faithful journey I took two steps; I applied to seminary and put in my two weeks notice. {so completely terrifying.}

I realized that those steps would be the start of truly living.  It would be the start of the next 10 years, filled with ups and downs, but always pursuing after what God has for me.

Now as I look at the difference between this year and last year, it is absolutely a night and day difference.  That tired, depressed, hopeless, mediocre life no longer exists here.  Today, I am filled with life {when I say that I mean that I feel like myself again… filled with energy, hope, joy and most of all, contentment}.  I know that I am passionately pursuing God’s plan for me and I am walking faithfully each day in his calling. {that looks different each day..some days it’s a nudge to blog…others to make a specific connection..and other days, it’s to simply finish my homework!}

I know that there are some people who are experiencing what I experienced; living a life that they don’t belong in {whether that is in a specific job, school, degree program, friend group…} and being utterly broken and disappointed by the thought of living a mediocre, ordinary life that shatters their potential and leaves their purpose to the side.

In my Rick Warren devotional, Rick discussed our lives and how we can pursue Godly goals through our God given gifts and dreams.  He posed these reflective statements that will literally light a fire within us all: {the questions were posed over a course of a few days.  I have condensed the questions here.}

“Ask yourself these four questions: 1) What do I want to be? 2)What do I want to do? 3)What do I want to have? 4) Why do I want it?”

and….”How do I intend to get there once I know what my goal is?”

In my devotional yesterday, Rick said, “One key to discovering your destiny is to identify the needs that stir your heart.  What is it that upsets you? What causes you to think, ‘Somebody ought to do something about that?’

I am still thinking about those very questions.  Each day I reflect about what stirs within me and how God desires to do something about it through my life.  In the past year I have taken a step of obedience in what God has planned for me.  I didn’t want to settle for a mediocre existence. God didn’t want me to settle for a mediocre existence.  So I jumped in with both feet…ready for God to use my potential and purpose. 

I’m not sure what God has been nudging you to do.  I have no idea what step of faith he has been calling you to take.  All I can say is that we are not meant to live in mediocrity.  We are not meant to live an ordinary and substandard life.  We are meant for so much more.  

For me, I had to look at my life ten years from now to really light a fire within me. Maybe you have to do the same.  What do you want the next ten years of your life to look like?  As Rick says, 

“You can either drift through life or you can be directed through life by taking the time to think through where God wants you to be.”  

That choice is up to us.  

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3 thoughts on “the next ten.

  1. So glad you didn’t stay in mediocrity! Love your blog and your passion that is evident. Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I wrote and long comment back to you on my blog, but I decide to drop by here to let you know how excited I am for you in your journey. I graduated from seminary 11 years ago and I too love, love, love preaching and writing. I would be glad to help you on this journey of discovery with your spiritual gifts and passions.
    Many blessings!

    • I am so glad I checked out your blog today!! And I really appreciate your response! I will definitely be doing those two things soon! (I will be on the lookout for that assessment!) I tried to respond on your blog, but I couldn’t find the button. lol I am so thankful to have connected to another passionate and driven woman who shares my same desires. Thank you so much for looking at my blog as well, any kind of expose is such a blessing to me!!

  2. Pingback: temporary. « Laura's Blog

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