the battle of the wills.

Obedience. 

A word that so often scares us off.  A word that challenges who we are at our very core.  A word that can make or break our circumstances and future. A word that can define our faith, determine our trust and shape our lives.

And yet with the power of that one word, we give it so little thought on a daily basis.

I think obedience is one of the hardest disciplines that any one person can live out. {gosh, even the fact that it’s a “discipline” can make some of us cringe} The hardest part about obedience is that our natural instinct is to want to do things our way.  We know what we want, we know how to get it, and we will take matters into our own hands to make it happen.  It seems almost foreign to us to submit to authority. {whether that’s our parents, bosses, teachers…or God}  We don’t want to give up our way of doing things, we don’t want to give up our dreams and our desires, we don’t want to do something someone else’s way…because in the end if we don’t do things our way, then we may not get what we want.

As a strong willed young woman {and sometimes stubborn, if I’m completely honest}, I have always struggled with obedience to what God wants for my life. {I feel like I have to explain that struggle a little more…I don’t want any assumptions here…}  My struggle hasn’t been that I don’t want to obey God’s word or carry out his plans for my life. {it’s actually the complete opposite}  It is indescribable to explain how much I want to work out God’s will in my life; it is something I long for and pray for. {can you understand what I’m feeling? you know that passion that stirs within you that you can’t suppress for the life of you? that’s how much I want what God desires for me}  But my struggle has been to know exactly what God calls me to be obedient to.  It have always felt like one of those conversations with God;

Me: “God….I will do anything you want me to do…I want to be obedient to what your will is…you just have to tell me what that obedience looks like…

God: “……………….”  

{has anyone else had this sort of conversation with God?}

So as I long to live out what God desires for my life and be obedient to his plans, I always struggle to know what exactly I am called to do to be obedient. {please say that you have felt this struggle in your life too…}

Recently, my tug-of-war between God and my obedience had been at the forefront of my mind.  The simple word, “obey” had literally been stalking me relentlessly, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the past month and a half.  I couldn’t escape it.  I couldn’t ignore it.  And I certainly couldn’t brush it off. I knew there was something God had called me to do.  I even knew what area of my life he was pointing out; but I felt like I was sinking in the middle of a storm of my own will and God’s.  It was one of those battles where I found myself on my knees, hands wide open, begging God to make life clear.  I desperately wanted to obey what God was calling me to do…but I desperately needed him to to provide clarity to confirm it.

The funny thing was {well it’s not really funny when I think about it, in fact, it was actually really painful} I knew what he called me to do.  I already knew the answer that God was waiting for me to carry out.  But stubborn, strong willed me wanted things my way…I had a plan for my life and I knew how to make it happen.  So every time I begged God for an answer, I’m sure he was thinking “You already know Laura! I’ve told you, I’ve nudged you….I can’t tell you anymore times.  It was simply up to me to get myself out of the way, to let go of what I thought my life should look like, and listen carefully to the words of the Father.

I have a feeling that I’m not the only one who has faces this battle.  I have a feeling that there are other ladies out there who feel a nudge, a whisper, a call from God to be obedient with something in their life.  What I don’t think that most people realize is that there is tremendous blessing that flows from obedience.  We can so often focus on the act of obedience {which is usually subtracting something from our life…or taking a monumental leap of faith} that we lose sight of the rewards that God has in store for those who are faithful to complete his will.

Be alert to the call of obedience in your life.

Sometimes obedience hurts.  Obedience always means surrendering your plans for your life.  

But obedience always leads to blessing.  Obedience always leads to a life that is far better than you could ever have planned for yourself. 

Allow God to win the battle between your will and his.

He is the God of yesterday, today and forever.  God’s plans for your life will include tremendous blessing; but we can only get there if we are obedient in following his directions.

 

Anyone who wants to be my disciple must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.

{john 12:26}

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3 thoughts on “the battle of the wills.

  1. Pingback: sparkle. « Laura's Blog

  2. Pingback: the clench. « Laura's Blog

  3. Pingback: press in. | Laura Wachowiak

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