sparkle.

As many of you may know, I have endured a terribly difficult season of life for the past two years.  I experienced a state of depression that was completely paralyzing and shook me to my core. I have written before about this time in my life, with all the muddy, dark details. {these posts describe my mental state at that trying time with all of its ups and downs.}  But today this post isn’t about the doom and gloom, it’s about hope.

Last summer God gave me a verse that I have clung to ever since I read it in His word. Psalm 13:3 says;

 “Turn and answer me, O LORD my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.”

Restore the sparkle to my eyes.  What a powerful prayer. What a beautiful request.  

Those words perfectly captured the longing of my heart to become whole, to feel like me again and to experience once more the passion and fullness of life.  That verse became my anthem, my prayer, my bold request to God every single day since the Lord gave it to me.

Since the fall of last year I have been on a journey of healing, each day growing stronger in Christ and experiencing true wholeness that God has lovingly blessed me with.  Recently, I have experienced a whole other level of healing, growth and restoration that has literally taken my breath away.  I believe that my obedience to God’s will sparked this beautiful heart transformation and God’s reward has been a magnificent breath of life that has filled my lungs.

The other day I was talking with a friend, and they said something to me that I didn’t fully digest until later on.  They simply told me, “your eyes sparkle.”

I didn’t grasp this statement until I was in a moment of prayer later that night.  Without consciously thinking about it I blurted out, “thank you Lord for this sparkle.” {I kid you not, those were my exact words!  Not sure where they came from…but I felt it and so I said it!}  

And then it hit me.  My eyes shot open and were steadily fixed on my ceiling, as if I was staring at the face of my Father in Heaven.  Every moment of pain, anguish, emptiness, depression and hopelessness that I endured fled through my mind.  It was as if the story of my life in the past two years flashed before my eyes, including all of its ups and downs, dirt and beauty, blessing and brokenness.  It was in that instant that it all came together in a single marvelous moment of restoration, wholeness and fulfillment, illuminated by the truth of God’s love.  On my knees on my bedroom floor with my eyes fixed upon my heavenly Father, revelation came upon me that my pain had purpose, my brokenness was a blessing and my battle with depression and sorrow was brought to a glorious completion. 

And my heart was full

The Lord had answered my cry; he restored the sparkle to my eyes. And not just by my own feeling of freedom and healing, but by spoken confirmation, “your eyes sparkle”.  That is how faithful God is; he will not just answer your prayer but he will fulfill it to the utmost! 

God is healing my deepest wounds.  He pieced together my broken heart. Refreshed my passion for life. And revived my soul with his spirit. He breathed a breath of life into me.

I say all of this to say to you; we all have periods of our lives where we endure pain, confusion, loss, emptiness and hopelessness, but it is in those moments when we have to keep faith, keep pushing, keep fighting for our lives. The Lord answers prayers, he hears your cries for wholeness, for joy and for newness of life.  God is faithful and he can only be faithful to our cries because that is his very nature.

Do not lose heart, keep praying for restoration, keep hoping for a miracle, keep pleading with God for joy.  And just as he did for me, he will honor those requests.  In his time, they will be fulfilled. 

I begged God to restore the sparkle to my eyes.  And faithfully, he did.

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2 thoughts on “sparkle.

  1. Pingback: the clench. « Laura's Blog

  2. I was reading palms and this verse touched me…. I got on the internet and look up this verse and found your blog. this particular verse has brought me the same feeling as u describe. very nicely put! Devonna

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